Why Share?

When I first started writing this blog, I asked myself why I wanted to write anything in the public domain. There was a natural resistance in thinking about this question because of the concern that there was just an underlying ego problem that was looking for an outlet through which it could rear its ugly head. This is still likely to be the case, at least in part. That being said, I think all of us are entitled to an opinion, and in having any opinion there is by definition some ego in saying "this is what I believe." This is not pathologic or even problematic as long as we keep the ego in check and recognize that others are entitled to their opinions, as well, and that our opinion should not get in the way of our unity. So why share anything at all, if there is a risk that our opinion may offend someone? I see three reasons:

1) It is not until we share an opinion that it becomes "real." There have been many times when I have been thinking about something and other people are talking about it around me and as they are talking I am processing the idea in my head, but it is still swimming around in a primordial soup phase of ideas. It is not until I start speaking or writing something about it that ithe idea really starts to take its form and substance. It comes out of my mouth or gets down on paper and it is then "out in the open" for criticism from both myself and others. I may immediately correct myself, realizing that what I said sounds really dumb when I say it out loud. The point is that until the opinion is shared, even if only with yourself, it is still not quite fully grown.

2) It allows others to know what we think. We are social beings that benefit emotionally, psychologically and spiritually from positive interactions with each other. While we can restrict ourselves to interacting on a purely superficial level, this results in equally superficial relationships. In order to deepen our relationships we must run the risk of sharing something that is left in the open to be rejected. Ultimately, I believe that our deepest desire is to be known and accepted by others. This is why in his epic treatise on love, St. Paul says that for now "I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known." We look forward to the day when we are in heaven with God, where we know each other and we know God, as intimately as God knows each one of us. For now, we selectively parcel out pieces of ourselves that we carefully screen on the basis of whether or not we think they will be well received. This is where the notion of the false self originates, in that we want to protect our true self out of the fear that it will not be accepted.

3) It allows others to disagree with us. For me, this is the most important reason that I write anything because I am looking for others to sharpen my opinion like iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). If I don't share my opinion, I can go on thinking something is 100% correct when it is 100% wrong. Even if what I am thinking or saying is "mostly correct," I do not think that I have a perfect understanding of anything, and any opportunity to be corrected is an opportunity to grow in understanding. When my friends read my posts, they can use what I wrote as a reason to share with me their dissenting viewpoint. If I don't share, they don't know what I think so that they can disagree, and I wouldn't learn from them so that I can change my opinion. For the record, I don't go back and change what I posted, so if you see something today from a previous post that you disagree with, don't be surprised if I also disagree with myself. 

In this day and age where we have the propensity to "overshare" with too many people saying too many things in public media that really should be kept private, I don't really need to advocate for people speaking their minds. However, it is important to recognize that what one says in a public forum will be open to scrutiny, and this is not a bad thing. If I say something in a public forum and it inspires vehement opposition, I should not automatically dismiss the opposing view as ignorant, but rather take a step back and ask myself if I should reconsider my view. If I am not ready to reconsider my opinion, then the only reason I am sharing is for other people to change their mind or see how smart I am. This is a dangerous position. The only person who gets to have the last word and be unequivocally correct is God. The rest of us are just trying to compare notes with each other in a measly effort to understand a little more today than we did yesterday.